Green Eyed Monster
by Louise Hargadon
Summary: Slightly AU oneshot. Bunny from the original series pilot inexplicably ends up on the Island, and one cute little button nose in particular feels decidedly pushed out of joint! So much MAG. MAG as far as the eye can see. We're sailing in a sea of MAG, everyone.


_**A/N:** I've often wondered what would happen if Mary Ann and Bunny from the original pilot ever met, and if it would result in all-out war for Gilligan's heart..._

 _For Mon Ammy. She's like my little buddy only more fluent in French._

 **Green Eyed Monster**

"Oh Gilligan! You're so wonderful!"

Gilligan shuffled uncomfortably and gave the blonde girl an awkward smile. She had wrapped both her arms around his left arm and clung tightly to him. He unwrapped his arm from her and took a step back so she couldn't grab him.

"Gee, Bunny," he said, slowly turning the same colour as his shirt. He wasn't sure what else to say. He had grown so used to most of the castaways being constantly frustrated with him and losing their temper at his clumsiness that he had no idea what to do with a compliment. "It was nothing, really. It was only a coconut. There's plenty more in the trees! Only the coconut trees though, you wouldn't find them in a pineapple tree or a banana tree or even an oak tree, although there aren't any oak trees around here because we're in the Pacific, except there might be but I don't know, you'd need to ask the Professor about that, he knows all about trees and ferns. Professor's a real smart guy, you'd like him a lot. I like him a lot, he's great."

"You're adorable."

"Adorable? Me?" Gilligan asked, his voice raising an octave with surprise. Bunny nodded, gazing up at him wordlessly.

Gilligan hadn't lived on an uncharted desert island with three women for years without knowing what that look meant. If he wasn't careful, Bunny was going to try to kiss him! Just for getting a coconut from the tree for her! Wait till she saw what Mary Ann was going to do with the coconuts. She'd turn them into the nicest coconut cream pie anyone had ever tasted. It didn't matter how long they had been on the Island or how times he had eaten it, there was nothing on earth like the delicious, sweet creaminess of Mary Ann's pie. Gilligan knew that he neither wanted nor deserved a kiss just for retrieving a coconut. He had to get away from Bunny without hurting her feelings, and there was only one way he could think of to do that.

"I think I hear the Skipper calling me," he said, quite untruthfully. "Coming, Skipper! I'm right here! I'm on my way!" he shouted as he bid a hasty retreat to safety. Bunny shrugged her shoulders and sighed happily as she wandered off in the direction of the lagoon.

Mary Ann watched Bunny as she strolled leisurely past the hut she had been sharing with herself and Ginger for the past few days. Her eyes involuntarily rolled as she caught the wistful expression on Bunny's face. In fact, if they had been in a movie, Mary Ann was sure there would be actual twinkling stars in Bunny's eyes.

Before she had any chance to control it, Mary Ann heard herself let out a derisive 'hmph'.

"What's wrong, Mary Ann?" Ginger asked, a little surprised by her outburst.

"Wrong? Nothing, Ginger, nothing at all. Why do you ask?"

"Well, for one thing you've not said a word for the last fifteen minutes."

"I don't really have much to say."

"You've dried that plate thirteen times now."

"I'm just being thorough!"

"But I haven't even washed it yet!"

"Oh!" Mary Ann said in a very small voice before handing the plate over to Ginger. Ginger paused and looked at her friend for a few moments.

"What is it, Mary Ann? It isn't like you to be so quiet, and you look so sad," she said, squeezing Mary Ann's shoulder gently.

"It's... oh, it's nothing, really," Mary Ann said, throwing her hands in the air and forcing an innocent giggle. Ginger raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to one side. "Really, Ginger, it's fine, it's just... it's just... oh, it's nothing," she said with a dejected sigh. She absentmindedly grabbed the still unwashed plate back from Ginger and began drying it again. Ginger took hold of the towel and the plate and gently retrieved them from Mary Ann's grasp.

"Really, honey, this sounds serious! I've never known you like this," Ginger said, her face a picture of genuine concern.

"Hello, girls," Bunny said, sauntering into the hut at that exact moment.

"Hello, Bunny," Ginger said. "I think there's something wrong with Mary Ann, she seems very low."

"Is there anything I can do?" Bunny asked, innocently, smiling broadly at Mary Ann. Under normal circumstances, Mary Ann was a large-hearted girl with the kindest nature since Snow White. She would have made the new guest very welcome and fussed over her until she felt right at home. For some reason, though, and if she wasn't too much mistaken, Mary Ann looked at Bunny and felt angry. Yes, that was it. She was furious with her, and she had no idea why.

"No, thank you. If you don't mind, it's a little crowded in here and I think I'll take a walk," Mary Ann said, a little too fiercely. Not daring to catch sight of the surprised and upset faces of Ginger and Bunny, she stormed out of the hut and actually slammed the door behind her.

"Was it something I said?" Bunny asked, confused. Ginger frowned and shrugged.

"I don't think so," she said, doubtfully.

Mary Ann marched down the beach, mumbling angrily to herself. She didn't know what it was about Bunny that had got so completely under her skin, but she did know that she didn't like her very much. Since Bunny had been stranded on the island, she'd constantly been in Mary Ann's way, taking over the cooking, doing more of the chores, being an unfailing little ray of sunshine to everyone. Especially Gilligan. The way she fawned over him! Ugh, it was embarrassing. At that moment, Mary Ann couldn't think of one thing she could charitably say she liked about Bunny. Of all the uncharted desert islands to wash up on, why did it have to be this one?

"What kind of a stupid name is Bunny, anyway? She's not a rabbit! And I bet she's not really so sweet all the time. Except when _Gilligan_ is around! 'Oh Gilligan, you're so wonderful, oh Gilligan, you're so smart, oh Gilligan you're so handsome, oh Gilligan you're so great, oh Gilligan I wish you could kiss me all the time-'"

"Gee, Mary Ann, I didn't know you felt THAT way!" Gilligan interrupted. Mary Ann blushed to the tips of her ears.

"GILLIGAN!"

Gilligan smiled broadly at her. He liked Mary Ann, they had made friends almost as soon as they had met on the Minnow. She was pretty cute, for a girl. Even better, she made the greatest food in the world. Her coconut cream pie was the stuff dreams were made of, and speaking of dreams, he'd definitely dreamed about her legendary pancakes more than once.

"I shoulda let you carry on, you were saying some real nice things!"

"Oh Gilligan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear any of that! I was just letting off some steam!"

"Don't let me stop you!" he said, holding his hands up in protest. "You were doing a great job! Can you go back to the part where I'm so handsome? That's where I came in!" Mary Ann let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"It wasn't me-"

"Yes it was, I just heard you!" Gilligan insisted, before adopting a high-pitched generic girl voice, "'Oh Gilligan, you're so handsome! Oh Gilligan, you're so great!' you just said it!"

"No, I mean... I did say it, but I was making fun of... oh it doesn't matter. I'm sorry Gilligan."

"Who were you making fun of?" Gilligan asked, frowning. He hoped it wasn't him. He couldn't imagine Mary Ann making fun of anyone, and especially not making fun of someone by pretending she liked them. The Mary Ann he knew would never behave like that!

"Well... It's... Oh it's so embarrassing, I was just letting off some steam and talking to myself and trying to get it all out of my system before I had to go back to the hut and face... oh it doesn't matter," Mary Ann said, just about wishing that the beach would open up and swallow her whole.

"Face who? Ginger?"

"No..." Mary Ann rolled her eyes and shook her head before looking down at the sand and mumbling the name of her nemesis. "Bunny."

"Bunny?" Gilligan repeated, completely confused. "Why would you be mad with Bunny? She's only been on the Island for a week! She hasn't had time to make you this mad! You've hardly had to do any chores the past few days, she's taken over!"

"That's it! That's the problem!"

"She's doing your chores?"

"Yes! No. She's taking over, I feel like she's pushing me out," she said. Gilligan's eyes widened in surprise.

"Pushing you out? Don't be silly, she could never do that!"

"I know she's very sweet and cute and she really likes you, and everyone seems to like her, but - oh Gilligan, there's just something about her that makes my teeth itch!" Mary Ann said. She felt terrible for voicing these feelings, but Gilligan had pressed her and now she couldn't stop. "It seems as though everything she does and says gets to me. Especially the way she acts with you! She's always talking to you and laughing at your jokes and batting her eyelashes at you and she keeps trying to kiss you and - oh!" she stopped herself, clenching her fists in anger.

"Ginger always tries to kiss me too, and you don't get mad about that!" Gilligan pointed out. Mary Ann shook her head.

"That's different, that's just the way Ginger is with everyone, she tries to kiss the Skipper and the Professor too. Especially the Professor!"

"Bunny's nice. She's sweet to everyone," Gilligan said. Mary Ann nodded, guiltily.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"But I like you a lot better, Mary Ann," he said. Mary Ann looked up in surprise, her eyes shining happily.

"Really?" she asked, beaming at him.

"Sure I do. You don't have to be jealous of Bunny-"

"JEALOUS!" Mary Ann demanded. "Who says I'm jealous?! I'm not jealous of Bunny!"

"Well you sure don't like her much, and you especially don't like when she talks to me," Gilligan said.

"That... doesn't necessarily mean I'm jealous. It just means... I don't want her to hurt you. Because you're a sweet guy and she might not have very sweet intentions and - I don't know, Gilligan, I just don't like her!" Mary Ann said, crossing her arms and frowning at him. Gilligan grinned.

"Your eyes are turning green!" he teased her. Despite herself, Mary Ann couldn't help but giggle. Gilligan laughed too, happy that he'd managed to cheer his friend up. He didn't like it when Mary Ann was sad, no matter what the reason was.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Thanks for letting me talk to you."

"You can always talk to me, Mary Ann. I'm your friend, that's what friends do, we talk to each other, we can talk all the time, about any old thing, you wanna talk about yo-yos, we can talk about yo-yos, we can talk about comic books and music and fishing and oh just about anything!" he told her, his tone sincere and earnest. She smiled indulgently at him. Nobody could ever stay sad when Gilligan was around. "Besides, yknow, I don't let Bunny kiss me when she tries to."

"You don't let anyone kiss you when they try to!"

"Yeah but that's because if I want someone to kiss me, I want a say in it! I'll kiss them when I'm good and ready to!" Gilligan said, nodding his head once and pouting decisively. Mary Ann's eyes widened and she felt a little light-headed. She suddenly realised that there were about three inches of space between them and she was hyper-aware of how hot the Pacific climate was.

"You will?" she asked, barely above a whisper. Gilligan nodded, and before she knew what was happening, he pressed his soft lips against hers for a few glorious moments. He didn't try to hold her, in fact he still had his hands tightly clasped behind his back, but by golly - he certainly knew how to pack a lot of feeling into one tiny kiss!

"I was ready," he whispered. Mary Ann wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him back. He finally unclasped his hands long enough to wrap his arms around Mary Ann's waist as their kiss deepened. "Gee, Mary Ann," he said, breathlessly, blinking a few times.

"Gee, Gilligan," she said, nodding in agreement. She had, by now, completely forgotten all about Bunny, and Ginger, and everything else aside from how wonderful it felt to be kissed by Gilligan. Her lips pinched into an impish grin and her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him. "You let me know the next time you feel ready, okay?" she asked.

Gilligan's eyes gleamed with mischief as his smile widened. "You'll be the first to know," he promised. "Right after me."

 **THE END**


End file.
